Bed Rest: Week 5 AND Release!

This has been one hell of a week. On Wednesday I had another check up and everything was still the same! Yay! So she cleared me to go back to work, but only part time. I was okay with that at the time because I didn't think I would have to use any of my Short Term Disability time or FMLA time. After contacting my boss I was told that I would still be using that time since I wouldn't be working my normal hours. After hearing this, I knew I was in for a battle.

I contacted the HR department at my job and was told that yes, I in fact would still be using my STD and FMLA. After 12 weeks, I would no longer have FMLA protection and could risk losing my job. My FMLA would officially be up on Dec 6th because I would have been gone for 12 weeks. That means, even if I was part time, I could still lose my job and definitely run a higher risk after the baby is born. I would still have a little bit of STD left, but not enough that would satisfy me and the time I would be able to spend with the baby. I don't think that my job would fire me when they know I just had a baby, but I trust NO ONE, especially when $$$ is involved.

So I some choices to make:

1) Continue to be on bed rest because going back part time would still be using STD and FMLA anyway.

2) Go back to work part time just to get out of the house and organize things for when I really do have the baby and still be using my STD and FMLA.

3) Go back to work full time and risk going into preterm labor, but at least I'll have time to spend with the baby. At this point I don't really see myself going into labor, but anything is possible. After getting the steroid shots the baby has a 95% of surviving if born now. I'll be 29 weeks tomorrow and I'm almost there! If I can make it to the end of the month without giving birth I'll be VERY thankful.

The way I see it, if I stay out on bed rest or part time leave, I will never forgive myself if I have the baby one day and have to go back to work the next day. What kind of time is that to bond with your newborn? I don't even have a plan of who I would leave the baby with. My mom is home most of the time but has to go to work a couple days out of the week. That means I would be leaving the baby with my mother-in-law, who lives too far away among other reasons that make me uncomfortable.

So I chose option 3. I stalked my doctor yesterday and today to get her to agree to let me go back to work full time. Needless to say it worked. I'm going back full time to save my STD and FMLA time for when the baby is actually here. If I don't have a J-O-B, I can't take care of my B-A-B-Y. So I'm sure there will be those at work who will judge me for coming back and not staying on bed rest, however, they're not the ones in my position. As far as I'm concerned, the only ones that should be judging whether or not I'm doing the right thing are my husband and myself, and so far he is 100% in support of my decision.

WORK ON MONDAY! YIPPEE!

Bed Rest: Week 4

The baby registry is officially up. My mom and I went to Target on Monday to put some things on the registry. Let me tell you, I walked into the baby section and immediately felt overwhelmed. There are soooo many different brands of diapers, bottles, pacifiers, baby wipes, cribs, car seats, etc, etc, etc.... That section went on for aisles and aisles. You always want the best for your baby, so it was very difficult picking the best products from the merchandise that was on the shelves. And since I'm not supposed to be walking around for more than 30 minutes I had to execute this mission quickly and efficiently.

On Tuesday I had another doctor's appointment. I packed myself an overnight bag just in case she told me to go to the hospital again because I dilated further than 1 cm. Luckily for me everything was still the same and I got to go home!!!! Soooooo relieved! I know that it's better to be safe than sorry, but the hospital is just not the place where I want to be.

Wednesday my coworkers sent over a very nice gift basket with lots of goodies to keep me occupied during my bed rest.
It included: Garrett's popcorn, Ghiradelli chocolates, a puzzle, sudoku and hangman books, thermal socks, balls of yarn, Tevana tea, a photo album, scrapbooking supplies, some dvds, and magazines. It was the kindest gesture anyone's ever done for me. Hell, I've yet to receive a bouquet of flowers from my husband. The most I ever get from him are requests to do things around the house since I'm "here all day." There are definitely times when I can't stand my job or the predictable routine of going to work everyday, but I do feel that I have some of the best coworkers in the world and just going in just to converse with them keeps me in that department.

This morning was rough. I'm really starting to feel the effects of being stuck in the house all the time, with no one to talk to but the cat. I don't think anyone but me and women like me fully understand how it feels to be on bed rest. Not even my husband. I don't think he fully understands the effect it can have on a person mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm usually home day in and day out 9am to 9pm. I see my husband in the morning before he goes to work and when he comes home at night after he gets out of night class. He has night class every day except Fridays. Even the weekends get lonely because he might have to meet with one of his groups. Like last Saturday he had a community service project to do. He left around 7am and didn't come home until around 7pm. Tomorrow he's going to a football game with one of his friends, a game that I thought I would've been able to go to but that's not the case. So once again, I'm stuck being alone on a Saturday.

Let me be clear that I'm on partial bed rest. My doctor said I can go out to eat, to the movies, or do activities like that as long as I'm sitting down. She doesn't want me laying around the house all day being bored. So I would have like to go to the football game, but there wasn't an extra ticket. Kinda makes me upset that he's going anyway. Like I said before, this bed rest thing is definitely not having a positive mental and emotional effect on me. I'm starting to resent the things my husband can do and the things that I can't do. I KNOW I'm supposed to be thinking about the baby, and I am, but aren't I supposed to be looking out for my well-being as well? I don't know how I'm going to make it through another 3 months doing this without losing my mind.

Frustration!

I always told myself that I would never want to be a housewife. Well, bed rest makes me feel that way. It's one thing to ask for a couple of things to be done around the house, however, I don't appreciate being told to cook something, clean something, or fix something. Yes, I get bored sitting here at home, but it's for a bigger cause and I've come to terms with that. I don't think my husband fully understands what bed rest really means. The fact that I was in the hospital this week hasn't registered in his mind that moving around and doing too much could possibly be detrimental to my and the baby's health. Now, he's never been one to completely grasp medical concepts, but common sense says if I'm on bed rest, if my cervix is dilated, and if I was in the hospital this week, then WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU REQUEST ME TO DO STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE?! Wouldn't you want to help me out? Wash the dishes? Sweep the floor? Cook something or don't get an attitude when I don't feel up to it?

I'm not having a lot of pain or contractions, but I do have discomfort when I stand for long periods of time. I haven't expressed that to him and maybe when I do things will get better but part of me feels like I shouldn't even have to say anything and that he should automatically understand. Never in my life have I ever witnessed something so selfish and I'm really pissed off about it. I'm going to try to take into account that he doesn't know what a cervix is, and that he doesn't know what "dilated" means. But we're going to have a very long discussion when he gets home from work because it's one thing to suggest things to do in a way to make it seem like you're concerned about my boredom. It's another thing to request that things be done. Just wait til you get home Mr. Man... >:-(