Crawling, Walking, and Growing

So on October 2, 2010, my baby decided he wanted to take his first steps! He pulled himself up on the table and walked over to me without holding onto it. I didn't notice it at first but I was so excited that I put him back on the floor to make him do it again. It was the most exciting and bittersweet moment since he's been born. Exciting because he can walk! Bittersweet because my baby's growing up so fast. I still remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I can literally close my eyes and picture every moment that happened that day. Everything after that is somewhat of a blur, but everything leading up to birth is still vivid in my mind. I don't know if anyone loves him more than me. My child has become my biggest and top priority, and anything else comes after.

My husband says that I baby him, but I figure since babies grow so fast I might as well get it in while I can. Soon he won't even want me to hold his hand in public. I don't even want to think about when that day will come. I don't feel like I baby him too much. I show him the appropriate amount of attention and when he needs disciplining I'm able to handle that as well. I feel like the hubby is just too focused on being a hard ass all the time and wants to instill fear instead of love first. It has to be a male thing. My dad wasn't like that with me and my sister and we turned out to be some really good kids. I'm not tooting my own horn, I just feel like there should be a balance of love and discipline. All that militant stuff can fall back. Of course when someone has an idea in their head about what they want to do it's pretty hard to change their mind. I'm just afraid that I'm going to have to deal with this child coming to me and telling me he feels like "daddy doesn't love him." But only time will tell. Nolan's pretty tough, even for a baby, so he may be able to take it and shake it off.

I'm so excited for his 1st birthday. I really can't believe he's grown so fast. I'm tearing up as I type this. (Sorry I'm an emotional person, gets on my husband's nerves sometimes). I've been planning his party which I'm really excited for. I'm trying to keep it very small. I only really want immediate family there. It's going to be tricky because I know some people are going to trip. They'll get over it. Too many guests will turn the party into a large social gathering and it'll become more about catching up and conversing than the baby being the main focus. We'll see how everything turns out, and I'll definitely write about it the next day. Regardless of what happens, the main focus is my baby and that is all that is important.