The Working Mother

Tonight was my class night. I hate nights like these because I don't get to see my monster when I get off work. Some days I hate working period because I don't want to be away from him. The husband makes fun of me for it, but I don't think he truly understands how I feel because he gets to stay home during the day with Nolan. He works at night while the baby is sleeping so he doesn't have to worry about missing anything. By the time I get home my energy level is usually at its lowest point, and although the first thing I want to do is spend time with him, I also want to lay down and put my feet up.

I'm frustrated. Mainly because I have a husband who can't sympathize with most of my feelings and emotions. Most of the time if I pour my heart out for any reason I get a shrug of the shoulders and a change of the subject. It drives me crazy and I'm worried about it being like that for the rest of our marriage. I'm not trying to change him, but I wish he would be a little more sensitive towards my feelings. I don't know really know how to bring this up with him without the conversation being a waste of my time. But that was a big disgression...

I was talking to a coworker who had a baby a couple of months after I did and we both agreed that this is hard. She even planned her pregnancy and she still feels unprepared, lost, and confused about the journeys of parenthood. You put so much of yourself into being a parent and it's exhausting! Very enjoyable, but exhausting! The separation anxiety phase is really tearing me up as well. No one wants to see their kid upset because you can't stay and spend time with them. However, this is a phase and a process, and even though I understand that I still wish it wasn't so hard.

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