On April 29th, 2009, I found out I was pregnant. Since then it's been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster for me because it was sooooo unexpected. I knew we wouldn't get away with it for long but after not being on birth control since 2006 and barely using an other form of contraception, we just figured we'd be one of those couple that needed invitro or some other type of fertility assistance to have a baby. Needless to say, our little miracle has happened and we are up for the challenge!
Here's an account of what we've been experiencing thus far:
April 29th: Day of Realization
So I realized I missed my period by 6 days. I've been late before and I've always linked it to stress, but I've NEVER been that late before. I've been in the position before where I was late and took a pregnancy test just to have it be negative and my period show up later that day. I wasn't interested in wasting anymore money on something that was going to tell me I wasn't pregnant. I kept telling myself I was going to wait until May 1st to take one, however, I couldn't wait anymore and after finding a test I never used (it came in a 2 pack that I bought a while ago) I cracked and used it. To my surprise it was positive! At that point I didn't know what to do. The first person I told was one of my sorority sisters.
I then took a picture of the test with my phone and sent it my fiancé. After him sprinting around the apartment looking for me (I was hiding), he finally found me. I must say, I've never seen him quite so shocked in my life lol. Of course he proceeded with the "huh"..."what"..."how"...."what are we gonna do next".... Then the "well in the back of my mind I knew already." Claimed he had been tracking my cycle. Yeah right! Anyway, that was day one. I went to work completely in shock but managed to stay composed and unsuspicious. I made my first appointment with the OB/GYN which is May 14th (seemed so far away at that point) and tried to relax.
April 29th - May 4th: Shock/Denial/Worry Phase
I'm supposed to be getting married in August. The pregnancy kinda presents a problem because I already bought my dress. By then I'll be between 15-19 weeks and I have no idea how big I'll be. The top of the dress is fitted and I know I don't want to experience any kind of awkwardness. The fiancé thinks I should just have it altered to be taken out and I don't think it'll be that simple. I also wanted to go on a nice honeymoon but that's out of the question now too. Unless we go somewhere nice within driving distance because I'm not that familiar with flying while pregnant. That swine flu is going around anyway and I'm not sure I want to travel anywhere right now. I just don't want to be on hotghettomess.com with my pregnant belly hanging out of my wedding dress.
I want to tell my parents. Although I can't wait to see their reaction, I'm also scared of what they might say. They've been pretty supportive of me throughout my entire life so I'm not too worried, but people can and will surprise you. I just hope they take the news the right way. I've been playing with little online tools that help you determine your due date and so far the consensus is that the baby will be born on my dad's birthday (something I KNOW he'll be excited about, especially if it's a boy). I have so many questions to ask and things to talk about with my mom and the suspense is killing me. I don't plan to tell them until I have my first complete doctor's examination. So far two of my sorority sisters, my little sister, and one of my high school friends know. Me and my friend had an unspoken competition of who was going to have a baby first, so he's not too happy right now :-)
May 5th - 7th: Uh oh!
I started spotting Tuesday night through Wednesday morning and I was really worried I was having a miscarriage. After all the complaining I did about not being able to fit in my wedding dress and do all the things I wanted to do I felt like God was punishing me for not being grateful for my precious little gift. I immediately went to the doctor where they did an ultrasound and told me it was too early to tell if I was having a miscarriage. They took a blood sample to see how far along I was and told me the doctor would call me the next day with the results. If my hCG and progesterone levels were low it would mean that I was losing the baby. They were able to tell me they saw a "yolk sac" on the ultrasound.
The next day, Thursday, my doctor called me and told me all my levels were great. Luckily the spotting had stopped after my doc appt the previous day. The spotting could have been from a number of things like old blood from a missed period, an ultra-sensitive cervix, and other things. As long as the blood was brown (which it was) I should be okay. I felt reassured that everything was going to be okay and looked forward to my May 14th appointment.
May 8th - May 11th: What an Emotional Weekend!
My chapter (I'm part of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.) was putting on this big Mother's Day event this past weekend. I've never been so stressed and tired in my life and all I could think about was it being over!! The event was on the 9th and I was having a really bad day. Me and the fiancé got in a fight, the responsibility I had to for Rhomania was falling apart, and I cried, yes cried, in front of Sorors. After that I just wanted to go home. I didn't want to be in any pictures, or socialize for that matter. At the shin dig I did notice that I have an accentuated sense of smell. We had yellow roses on all the tables and I couldn't walk past not one table without feeling like the roses were screaming at me. Then the servers put the salad dressings on the table which did not mix well with the roses. I really just wanted to get out of there.
Sunday was Mother's Day and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to tell my mom but I held back and didn't tell her :-( Would May 14th get here already!!!!!
On Monday I went to Prentice Women's Hospital (Northwestern) to visit one of my Sorors who just had a baby. That hospital is gorgeous!! I can't wait to have my baby there lol. Flat screen TVs with wifi! Of course, top-notch doctors too lol. Her baby was beautiful and I can't wait to have the same experience. of course after listening to some of her birthing stories I'm not so sure I want to have an all-natural birth now. That worries me a little. My mom had me and my other sisters naturally and said she didn't have any real pain. She said she just felt like it was one big cramp and all babies were out. She had quick labors and I only hope that her experiences are genetic. I have a high tolerance for pain, I'm just not sure if I'll meet my match when it's time to have this baby.
May 12th: Happy Birthday Mommy!
Today is my mom's birthday! Let's hope I don't spill the beans and wait for another two days. It's just two days... I can do it... I think lol.
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