Trying to Deal

Don't get me wrong. Babies are gifts from God that should never be taken for granted. But what I feel right now (and most of the time) is depressed/worried/anxious/etc... I never thought about all the things I wouldn't be able to do for the next nine months. I'm young and I like to have fun. I can't drink (I like to drink), I can't eat deli meats (I love the Italian BMT from Subway), I can't ride rollercoasters (I LOOVVVEEE rollercoasters). Sometimes I feel like this summer is going to be a drag. I'm getting married in August and I had planned on getting really messed up at my bachelorette party and wedding. That's not going to happen now.

I just read over that paragraph and realized how selfish I sound. Is it normal to feel this way though? I really am looking forward to being a mother, I just wasn't expecting it so soon, nor did I think about the ways that it would change my life. I think I'll still be in a state of shock until my stomach actually starts growing and I feel some kind of movement in there.

I also didn't take into account how this pregnancy would affect my relationship with the father. Certain "activities" can only be done at a minimum right now and I'm hoping he can be as patient as I can. This morning we got into it about me taking the prenatal vitamins that my doctor prescribed. They're HUGE horse pills that I refuse to swallow. So instead I've been taking folic acid pills which are no bigger than baby pearl earrings. Those I can swallow with no problem. When I told him I wasn't going to take the pills he thought I was kidding, until he found out I hadn't been taking them and had a heart attack. So the solution to this problem is for him to make me a smoothie and mix the pill in so I won't have to worry about choking to death. (I've never been able to swallow pills). I am, however, upset with him because he runs away everytime I try to explain what going on with my body. It's like I'm doing this all by myself. All he wants to do is sit back and chastize me for the things I'm doing wrong and he's not even being supportive. The best form of support is listening. Us pregnant women have emotions (lots of them!) and we need to express them, especially to the person who's in this situation with us! So listen guys out there! Even if you sit there and don't say anything we'll be kinda satisfied!